Anatomy of Trust: How Real Relationships Are Built
- vanessamacamo
- 4 days ago
- 4 min read
This reflection is based on the podcast Anatomy of Trust: How Real Relationships Are Built by Brené Brown. These are my personal reflections and interpretations. They do not claim to be “right” or “complete,” but they reflect how I understood the ideas shared and how they connect to my lived experiences.
What stood out to me
The first lesson I took from this podcast is the importance of engaging with topics that truly matter to us and to the people around us. Whether we are doing research, leading a project, or building relationships, meaning matters. When something connects to our reality, it shapes how we listen, act, and relate to others.
One of the strongest messages from this podcast for me is that trust is built in small moments. Trust is not something that happens all at once; it is shaped through everyday actions, attitudes, and responses. Small behaviors can have a huge impact on how safe or supported someone feels.
Trust and small actions
While living and studying in the U.S., I experienced moments where I expected a sense of backup or support within a team. Not protection, but reassurance, especially as an international student navigating unfamiliar systems. Although nothing negative was said directly, I sensed antagonism in small actions and silences. These moments made me realize how easily trust can be weakened, even without words.
This is why I deeply agree with Brené Brown that trust is built in very small moments. Sometimes, all it takes is one action, or the absence of it, to change how we feel about a relationship.
A personal example of trust
One of the strongest examples of trust in my life is my relationship with my advisor. I trust her not only because of her academic guidance, but because of how she supported me during vulnerable moments. Throughout my PhD journey, especially as an international student, I faced several financial, emotional, and personal challenges.
During those moments, she showed up. She helped me access resources, advocated for me, and ensured I was supported mentally, financially, and socially. That was when I realized her support was consistent and did not change when things became difficult. Trust, as Brené Brown explains, is choosing to make something important to you vulnerable to the actions of someone else. That is exactly what happened in that relationship. I'm thankful for my advisor.
Reliability, accountability, and integrity
Another key concept from the podcast is reliability, doing what you say you will do, consistently. This part made me reflect deeply on myself and my actions. There were moments when I committed to tasks, such as engaging with course materials during breaks, but my intentions were honest, and circumstances prevented me from completing everything as planned.
One important reminder from this podcast is that it is easy to commit, but harder to follow through. Trust depends on consistency over time.
This made me ask myself: Am I reliable? Am I trustworthy? I believe I am, but I also recognize that over-committing, as explained in the podcast, can damage trust, even when intentions are good. Reliability requires knowing what you can realistically commit to and honoring that commitment.
Accountability is closely connected to this. Making mistakes is human, but acknowledging them, correcting them, and apologizing when needed are essential for building trust. Sometimes, it is easier to excuse ourselves than to take responsibility, but trust grows through accountability.
Confidentiality and boundaries
One concept that stood out to me was confidentiality: what you share with me should not be shared with anyone else. This resonated deeply. If someone talks about another person’s private situation, it signals that they could do the same with my story. Trust disappears in those moments.
Boundaries are equally important. Sometimes we fail to set boundaries because we want to be accepted, but without boundaries, we become drained. Learning to say no, to be clear, and to protect our energy is also part of building trust with others and with ourselves. I believe this is one of the most challenging situations a person can experience at any level.
Leadership, communication, and trust
For me, trust is deeply connected to leadership and communication. It requires listening, consistency, integrity, and the courage to be accountable. Trust grows when people feel heard, respected, and supported, especially in moments of vulnerability.
I'm a catechist, and today, in my religious class in church (Grades 7 & 8), we were discussing the topic of "Beatitudes", and I asked my students a question: "How can you be a peacemaker in your family or classroom?" One of my students answered: "For me, in order to maintain peace, I would make sure that I intentionally listen to everyone before making a judgment so I can be fair in my decision." Reflecting on his answer, this was a great example of how leadership is linked to communication and listening to those around us. He didn't just say he would listen, but he would listen intentionally. I was amazed by the answer.
In your experience, what really builds trust in a relationship?
These are my reflections on this podcast. They are shaped by my experiences and how I interpreted the ideas shared. You may see things differently, and that is welcome.
I invite you to share your own thoughts, experiences, and views on trust. How do you think relationships are built? What does trust mean to you?
Feel free to reach out and share your reflections.
You can listen to the podcast here:
Vanessa Macamo
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